Retail therapy

I did a bit of retail therapy today. I’ve decided that i’m a shopaholic. I go into a shop, I see a bunch of stuff I want, and instead of thinking, hrm, should i get this, or can I afford this, I just grab. Not that I can’t afford it at the moment, I just get moods where buying things gives me a rush and because of that rush that I get, I want to keep going because that rush makes me feel good. It only backfires when later on I realise I don’t really have the money. Thankfully i’ve been budgeting so that’s no longer a problem.

I want to start reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People tonight. I have this niggling thing at the moment which I’m hoping the book might be able to somewhat answer for me. I keep doing this habit where, if something bad happens, or if something doesn’t go to plan, not to any fault of my own, I automatically think that it’s because of me that it’s happened. That it must be me that is the reason for things not going to plan, and if I were in some way different, or a better or more likeable person, things would go to plan. I’m hoping that once I read this book I can get out of this pathetic train of thought. It makes me stabby at myself to have such self depreciating thoughts. I find that a) they’re a waste of time being in my head, and b) when i’m being like this, and worrying so much, i’m no fun to be around, and so the cycle continues. At least i’m not just wallowing in it all, and I do want to do something about StabbyAins. BFN.